Finally finished my worst week so far and couldn't be happier. A combination of lots of stress at work and being a bit sick made this week really hard. On Tuesday parents were invited to visit observe one of my classes and a lot of pressure was put on all of us to impress the parents as they are generally responsible for spreading the word about CDI. It was definitely pretty nerve racking as I have never had that kind of experience before but it actually went fairly well, though unfortunately I haven't gotten any feedback from either of my bosses so that is just my opinion. I have found the lack of really constructive feedback and positive re-enforcement from superiors a little discouraging. In my performance review I was told that my greatest weakness was with the younger kids and that I needed to be more goofy and fun. I pretty much knew all this and was hoping from some suggestions or ideas of how to go about this because its just not really my personality to be goofy but I obviously want the kids to have fun and enjoy my classes. I feel that I have been doing a good job of working on this but haven't heard much from either of my superiors about it. I was talking with a co-worker last night about this issue and he has had the same experience since his time at this branch. Our head instructor, Jen, is really amazing and we are really lucky to have her because she really thinks of us and tries to make our experience the best it can be but it would be really nice to get more feedback, suggestions and encouragement that we are doing a good job and she sees improvements we have made. It is pretty clear that for the Korean staff this is purely a business and that results in a little bit of disregard for us as teacher. We pretty much aren't allowed sick days (I am terrified for when I eventually get actually sick and still have to teach for six hours a day), and only get five days of vacation. While there seems to be a lack of positive encouragement there is the constant stress that both Jen and the head of our branch are constantly watching our CCTV and making judgments on every class we teach. I think knowing that I am always been watched limits my willingness to experiment or be goofy as it makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious.
I think both Danielle and I are at the point where we are struggling a bit to adjust to such a full time job where so much is expected of us and the honeymoon period is ending. We are almost to the end of our first term and I am confident that the next term will be much easier as we will have an opportunity to start fresh and not make some of the same mistakes again and we will be more confident. This has just been a discouraging week with lots of rain, tons of meetings at work (on Thursday I was in a meeting for three hours which was immediately followed by 6 hours of teaching) and feeling sick. Next week should definitely be better as the students are all taking their achievement tests to determine what level they will be in next term so we don't have much to do. Next Saturday Danielle and I are going to go to Seoul for the night- sadly since we work every Friday till 10 there wont ever really be an opportunity for long weekend trips. I think it will be a good break and it will be nice to see Seoul. It was inevitable that a week like this would happen, and I am sure that there will be other low points but as the first one it is definitely a bummer.